Drew answers questions in Thai

We got several questions for Drew to answer in Thai, since he's studying the language up in the land of cheese. To make it more interesting, I've illustrated the people asking questions. While it probably looks nothing like the real person (sorry about that guys), it gives the rest of you something to look at.

(New posts are at the end)

Q: I was wondering how to say "my head is on fire" in Thai. I am trying to get that phrase in as many languages as I can. I'm up to eight, i think.

thanks, Joshua

P.S. can you type it out phonetically?

A: I can't do the Thai script on this computer. The tones aren't marked here:

Phom phom may!

So I'll have to tell you. Both "Phom"s have a rising tone (like you're asking a question), and the "may" is falling, start at a high pitch and let your voice drop off. Literally: "My [male] hair is burning!"


Q: ::Giggles:: Hiya! I'm a very young and energetic girl that just happens to be obsessed with Striptease (it doesn't help that right now you're probably thinking me to be obnoxious and that I will Spam you until you die- you're half right- you will die)! Aren't you proud!

I was wondering how to say "I'm not wearing any underwear" in Thai!

*`~`*Faun Flax*~*

A: Thanks for your letter! If you've got any feedback re: the current storyline we (Chris and I)'d be happy to hear that, too... I obsess about it well, but then I think I'm just obsessing about Chris and end up hanging upside down outside his window screaming: "YOU DIDN'T DRAW THAT COMIC ABOUT THE SLIME-BEASTS OF XAK TSAROTH!!!" to which he replies "Huh?"

The translation is:

dichaan may^ say^ khangkheeng nay

(those marks are falling tones, start at the top of your vocal range and


Q: So, you have a Thai Q and A? Well, here's my question..

Like the person who was looking for "My head is on fire" I'm looking to find out how to say "Die you half-men!" In as many languages as I can, could you let me know how to say it in Thai?

- FearfulDreams

A: Hm... See, the problem here is that "half-men" doesn't translate right. In Thai you would have to say "Die you people who are also men" - Taay khon phuuchaay. Or you'd have to specify how many men there are: "Die you several men" or "Die you five men, which is: "Taay phuuchaay lai khon."

Bear in mind my Thai isn't wonderful, and a real Thai person probably knows how to say this right.

Now, on to the "half" part of it. The word for "half" is khrung (falling tone). However, your immediate choice for saying "half-men" is "khon khrung." However, "khon khrung" is slang for "half-Thai, half-European." So "half-men" doesn't have the "part-animal" idea that it would in English, rather, "Taay khon khrung!" would be a rather racist statement saying that you wanted people who were of mixed ancestry to die.

So, here you go, and I imagine this is incorrect Thai: "Taay khrung khon!" See, I've put "khrung" in front of "khon," which might be interpreted as an incorrect way of saying "Khon khrung," but it might also have the connotations that you're looking for - that the people are only half human, halber menschlich.


Q: Hey drew.
I was just wondering how to say that a girl has got a nice top?


A: Assuming you mean that in the polite manner and wish to remark on the fact
that some young woman has on a particuarly stunning blouse:

"Khun mii suha suay"

That's "Khun" that would rhyme with "rune" and has no special tones, "mii"
pronounced like "me,"
"Suha" is difficult, because it involves a vowel that we don't have in
English. Okay, make a "uuw" sound. Draw it out. Now smile, while you're still
making that sound. That's that noise that I've marked "uh." "Suha" is
pronounced with a falling tone, so start high and drop off.
"Suay" is pronounced with a rising tone, as though you were asking a question.


Q: Hey Drew,
Was Just wondering how you say "I Own You" and "I Love You" In Thai.
thanks a lot man, Striptease Comics own. Later


A: Assuming the speaker is male, as I am and I'm guessing you are, Kevin, the
translation is this:

I own you: "khun khawng phom"
The last two words are spoken with rising intonation, so say them like you were asking a question. Oh, and by the way, the "ph" is *not* pronounced "f" like it is in English. It's pronounced like an english "p." Also, "phom" rhymes with "tome" or "rome." "Khun" rhymes with "rune" or "soon."This is literally: "you belong to me," although I get the feeling that it's not a too polite way of saying this. I also get the feeling that that's what you wanted to convey.

Now, when you see a Thai word transcribed with a "p" without the "h," that's a sound that we don't have in English. Take the difference between "spicy" - phed, and "duck" - ped. As a bit of a trick, see how you prounounce the "p" in "stop" versus the "p" in "play." They're entirely different sounds.

I love you: "phom rak khun"
That's the same "phom" that we saw before. I guess a non-standard but accurate way to transcribe it would be "pome?" with the question mark indicating the tones. "rak" rhymes with "back" and is high tone - say it slightly higher-pitched than the rest of the words. That "r" isn't our English "r," but I'm not gonna get in to that right now. It's kind of like a Spanish rolled R, but you don't fully roll it. "Khun" is also the same as in the previous
example. I guess an easier transcription would be "kune."

Kevin, to whom, exactly, are you planning on divulging your love?

So, what, nonstandard but maybe easier transcriptions would be:
I own you: kune kong? pome?
I love you: pome? rak' kune.