American Wannabees

I normally try to stay away from all things reality shows, but you can't help take pride in the evil pleasure that is American Idol. I only watch the audition episodes, which is enough. Watching people that honestly think they can sing, but really sound like a dial-up modem connecting, is just great. It's also kind of makes you feel good about having talent... any talent really. I'm not saying you should delight in other people's untalented misfortunes, just....

no, that's what I'm saying. Soak in it. It's terribly funny.

Don't feel sorry for these people either. They sign contracts for even the slightest possibility of being on the show. The majority don't realize how big of a commitment it is, and when they get told to their face that they don't have what it takes, they go nuts. The should know what they are getting into.

I tried out to be a VJ once. A few years ago, MTV had these "wanna be a VJ" contests. The audition I went to was in the middle of nowhere, in North Carolina. It was freezing, it was a five hour drive from home, but something told me this would be a fun thing to do. Woooooo boy. I drove down with my very patient friend Stevie to this town... uh, road.... and stood in line with 2000 other wannabees for nine or so hours, with no food, to make a video audition that lasted 2 minutes. I did get a free Tee-shirt, which is always fun, unless it sucks. Then they taped a live episode of TRL, where they would announce the winners. This just contributed to the joke even more. They told us when to get excited. Korn and Jay-Z showed up and smiled or something. Carson Daly (no relation) was his usual stiff-as-a-board self. The two people that won our sem-ifinal were total camera ready, although they didn't win the whole shebang. I forget who did.... some guy with a dorky laugh..

Anyway. these quick passes to fame are all fake. If someone is a talented enough singer at the age of 20, shouldn't they have a record deal already in today's fake, uh, pop market? Who am I to judge though? In a way, I bought into it. Although the MTV thing wasn't about talent, but about how much you act like a whore, it was still a fun, yet grueling educational process. Maybe that's why I enjoy American Idol so much. I get to laugh at, and empathize with, all of these morons who have enough hope to put themselves through the system that will just spit them right back out. That's your reality.